» Fringe Blog – Writing on Film, Culture, and Things on the Fringe

Travel The World

jelewis8 — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 17:12:37 +0000

Certain people in my family are due to emerge relatively unscathed from military action in hinter parts of the globe. Noel, I’m looking at you. Noel’s plans post-Army primarily involve traveling to distant lands to engage in self-discovery and explore parts unknown (sounds like a French film). I don’t pretend I’m not envious. Even not knowing where you’re going. I recommend you visit Berlin, St. Petersburg, Copenhagen, Paris, Rome, London, and Dublin at the very least. What point is there in traveling if you don’t go to the top European cities?
Personally, I’m due for a trip to the East. I disguise my fear of Eastern culture with my love for Thai food, Zen Buddhism, and Chinese finger traps. It’s not really that I’m afraid. I just worry about wandering into a Yakuza mob house or an opium den by mistake and find myself caught up in a story of international intrigue as I fight off ninja warriors and drug-crazed warlords whilst wooing slender princesses who have penchants for skinny white guys who can handle guns.
That’s me, in case you were wondering.

Free Debt Advice

jelewis8 — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 21:46:23 +0000

My quest for eliminating bad debt has taken on monumental proportions. The other day, I slew a credit card demon with its own balance transfer checks, slicing it open and pouring the salt of indignation and post-graduation maturity deep into the wounds. It howled. I’ve found numerous sites online that offer free debt advice. The Simple Dollar is a pretty brilliant financial site, and I’ve found I consistently return to it whenever I need solid financial advice, especially concerning credit card debt, managing my credit score, or doing other responsible adult type things involving money.
There are two schools of thought on money. One can be expressed in the following simple philosophy: Always pay yourself first. What that means is that no matter what, you always cover your costs, your needs, and ultimately reward yourself financially before anybody else. Now, this doesn’t imply that you decline to pay your bills. What it means is this: If you set for yourself an earning goal of $500 per month, but you only make enough at your job to keep (or pay yourself) $200 after your bills, you must keep that $500 for yourself, and you must devise a way to earn the $300 that must go toward paying whatever bill(s) you have. In other words, you force yourself to be smart with your money and with your time.
The other school of thought is to pay off your debts first, and only after, if there’s any left over, to pay yourself. This has typically been my mode of operation, as I have a super-developed sense of “responsibility” from my parents. However, recently, I’ve been mixing up things a bit, experimenting with some methods of earning extra income so as to “pay myself first” and still pay off debts at a rate that I find satisfactory. Part of the changes on the blog of late are due to me trying to discover a passive line of income that might help me win in the battle against bad debt, and perhaps even provide me with a income that I could live off of. While that’s pretty far down the road, I’m already seeing some things that are working and some things that aren’t. It’s nice to be able to experiment without too much overhead or consequences.
Ultimately, the debt elimination project is about dedication to a principle and perserverence to a plan, flexibility in execution, and savvy financial decision-making.

The Gift of Apollo

jelewis8 — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 04:15:09 +0000

I think of the iPhone as if it is a Greek legend or myth. The stories told about the iPhone are anything but mundane.
In the beginning there was just man, cold and alone in the empty world devoid of happiness and cheer. No communication, no interactivity. Or worse, sub-par communication and interactivity. Man suffered through the illusions of early electronic mobile devices. The world was a harsh place, and the gods did not care for man’s scrapings and yearnings for truth, love, beauty, and a portable means of communing with his fellow man over long distances. Such were the days of early cell phones. And the land groaned for something better.
Then Prometheus, with poorly-made cell phones with ill-lit LCD panels, came and illuminated Man’s awful, mundane existence. As poor as the lighting and coverage was, Mankind saw the truth of life, how to better existence through industry and technology. Though Prometheus’ gifts were bulky objects better suited for killing large predators or causing tumors, men rejoiced, for now they were no longer chained to a cord or limited by the distance their RF signal could reach. The gods were angry, however, with Prometheus, and his gift. Naturally, the gods came down and judged Prometheus to be in contempt of their will, and ordered him to be chained to the boulder that was called e-books. There, he spent eternity, whilst crows gouged out his eyes and pecked upon his genitals (seriously, it’s in the legends).
Man, who now had the gift of illumination via LCD, grew wondrously inventive. He learned he no longer had to use cigarette lighters at concerts to show respect or awe at the power of a rock ballad. He could travel several miles, or even hundreds of miles, before the service coverage became negligible. Soon, strange trees graced the remotest roads and lanes. Man learned that launching a twisted, highly engineered patch of metal and plastic into the heavens could enable them to have global communication via cellular frequencies. The stuff of dreams.
And Apollo, one of the gods and chief in wisdom (next to Athena, who was prone to apathy regarding technology), said, “I will give them something they have never seen before. It will appear to be a blessing, a shining jewel in the cosmos of communications, but it will lure them to their peril and demise.”
“How will thou go about such a thing?” asked Zeus. “What manner of a thing could have such paradoxical nature, such that men would be tricked so?”
“Ah, you have hit upon it, my wonderful Father,” said Apollo, who was always a bit of a bootlick. He removed from his Olympic toga a thin, rectangular device. He held it up for all the gods and a few of the geek goddesses. It was unremarkable in its form.
“Merely a bath tile,” murmured one scoundrel.
“‘Tis a tablet upon which one may write of deeds and heroic feats,” said another.
“It might be a shiny anvil upon which I could pound my hammer,” growled Hephaestus. “Though in truth it does not appear to be strong at all.”
“No, it is the Pandora’s box,” said Apollo imperiously. He began pacing, holding the device in his hands, caressing its curved edges carefully. “This device holds within it the power to consume and destroy, yet it appears as harmless as a can of sardines.” He pressed the device and suddenly the flash of brilliance enveloped the stage. His audience gasped, for they were stricken with lust for it.
“See it now,” proclaimed Apollo. “See and crave. Even the gods and goddesses cannot withstand its lure. What is it that so entraps your eyes and your hearts? Is it the widescreen display? Is it the buttonless interface? The touchscreen, the high resolution LCD?” The crowd had grown, and Apollo continued to taunt them, holding them hostage with his words.
“You see its devilish charm! You want it for its voicemail features, the web-enabled connectivity. You love its camera. And oh! The iPod! The glorious iPod.”
Apollo had reached a crescendo and the gods and goddesses were chanting, moaning incoherently. He held the device aloft, its brilliance illuminating all of Mount Olympus, even causing the sun to appear dim (this was probably a publicity stunt, since Apollo was the god of both the sun and the device). Suddenly, he threw the device down, hurtling it with all force through the clouds that hid the mountaintop from earth’s view. The crowd that had gathered suddenly ceased chanting, and clamored for Apollo to explain his actions.
He calmly stepped down, held out his hands peaceably. He showed the gods what he had hidden from them. A tiny card, embossed in gold, lettered and gilded in the finest Greek symbols, spelled out Man’s doom. Apollo read the card, his voice barely perceptible over the din of lusty cries coming from earth below.
“All calling plans are exclusively through AT&T. And it cost more than your first car. Except for you, Diana.” (Zeus had bought Diana a Mustang GT for her sweet sixteen). As the cries of lust and happiness turned to sorrow, Apollo smiled grimly, and the sun darkened even more. “That’ll teach the buggers to use fire.”

Brooks

jelewis8 — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 13:32:38 +0000

I don’t know much about photography. But I do have a roommate who is pretty big into it. He recently, he applied to Brooks, a fairly well known photography school in Santa Barbara, CA, and for the past few months has worked weekends on photo shoots for Little League sports photo sessions, or Girl Scout troop gigs, or Little Miss Sunshine competitions. I may have made up the last thing, though it would make sense given the direction I’m about to take this topic.
Joe (my roommate) informed me that he was hired without a background check. Now thankfully, Joe is not a pedophile or a predator, although he does appear to have the characteristics of a hobo or otherwise indigent person at times, especially when covered with leaves, dirt, and oil as part of a character immersion thing (in preparation to shoot a death scene in a wonderfully cheap short film, The Canal, written and directed by yours truly). That is not to say hobos and homeless folk are pederasts. They are truly not; most, if not all of them, are content to shuffle along aimlessly, collect and recycle cans and bottles, and not shower.
However, according to Joe, it wouldn’t be that difficult for a child predator with genuine photographic talent to be thrust into a life where they have full access and right to shoot kids, all in the name of these wonderful little photo sessions. It’s the perfect environment for a lurker to ensconse himself in. All the better if he is good at photography. After all, Joe didn’t get hired because he looked like a hobo. He got hired because he brushed his hair and beard, put on a clean pair of underwear and pants, and showed up with a Nikon SLR camera. Nikons are impressive, and the fact that he had an SLR and not a digital camera was quite impressive to the recruiter, who signed him without a moment’s pause or consideration.
I don’t want to give any ideas to any predators who might happen to read my blog. I’m going to encourage Joe to encourage his employer to start running background checks on their photographers. I’m just saying.

Leisuretime Promotions

jelewis8 — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 06:35:56 +0000

Vacation points is a fancy way of saying you don’t have the money to afford the vacation you really want, but by selling your soul to whatever company has the least painful and degrading slavery package in the form of spam, advertisements, frozen steaks sent via post programs, March of Dimes gift packets, or VFW collectible coin deals, you might get to go on that cruise you always dreamed about every five years if you collect enough points to win. Leisuretime Promotions seems aimed at the Jimmy Buffet crossed with Donald Trump demographic, judging by its colour scheme and overall tone of haughty “you deserve it” lines and Margaritaville-esque visions of beaches, vague sillhouettes of people who may be having fun or who may just be clipart cutouts, and the video testimonials that I actually couldn’t get to work on my system. I assume they’re filled with happy people satisfied they made the right choice by throwing their hard earned cash at a company designed around spending money. Not that I’m saying that’s wrong. For some it’s the principle of spending money to make money that allows one to achieve a position where one can afford hefty vacation packages such as this company offers.
Clearly though, the demographic is also not much interested in movies, writing, or the occasional snarky post about how bad Los Angeles drivers are. Not to worry, though. It’s simply a reminder to all you pleasant people out there who are reading, that no matter where you are, you’re there. Who needs a vacation when you’re living the life of leisure already?

Don’t Be Railroaded

jelewis8 — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 16:00:19 +0000

It’s hard to believe people still use railroads, much less get injured by them. I mean, it’s 2007. Where are our rocket packs and bubble domes and atomized reconstructive transportation beaming technology? I thought railroads went out of fashion when Atlas Shrugged dropped off the New York Times’ Best Seller list, but apparently it’s still a very common form of industrial and commercial freight transportation. One wouldn’t think railroad injury to be a common occurrence, but a number of people are affected by it every day. Several half dozen, I think. How many times do you really have to tell someone not to lie on the tracks?
Nevertheless, these guys (Yaeger, Jungbauer & Barczak) have taken it upon themselves to personally pursue a vendetta against evil railroad companies. It stretches back years to less happy times, when railroad companies ruled the roost and the Average American Joe Schmoe had no recourse when railroaded by The Man. If you want to hitch your wagon to this legal train, it’s one railroad encounter you’ll be happy to be part of. They’ll fight railroad companies who have forgotten what it’s like to be a member of the community, and you’ll be on the receiving end of a fat settlement.
Now who doesn’t love America? Because you’re next. Because Yaeger, Jungbauer & Barczak are heroes.

Game Design Program

jelewis8 — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 01:41:49 +0000

So you just killed that uber-monster boss in the 42nd level of Hell, and can only think to yourself, Man, it’d be nice to have a challenge with these video games. Perhaps you have even thought about designing video games yourself. You may have even done some on your own. It turns out that thousands of nerds and supernerds like you have made video game design a lucrative career, far more than anyone, including your parents, guidance counselors, and politicians ever anticipated. Because so many of you buy these games, many game designers are now living in the lap of luxury, because you’ve never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and therefore have a ton of pocket cash, and you’re ready to shell out at fifty bucks a pop for the privilege of playing in a fake world. If you’re one of these people, you may be ready for the bigtime, and by that, I mean you can turn your video game passion into a salary with benefits and sex appeal. With www.gamedesignprograms.com, you can easily discover your niche and exploit it.

Got a story to tell? Love programming enemy AI or battlefield strategy? Get excited by the new graphics engines supporting your crushing addiction to 3D worlds? You could make the next bazillion copy seller. Get your fingers off the ASDW keys and head over to Game Design Program. You just might be smart enough to make it.

Collins College

jelewis8 — Mon, 28 May 2007 17:58:55 +0000

What is Collins College? Among other things, it is a technical college in Tempe Arizona, focusing on preparing students for careers in technology and creative industries like Game Design, Media Arts, Networking, and Visual Communications (whatever that is).
Also offering online, or virtual courses, Collins College makes getting an education easier by minimizing travel time, allowing easy access to course materials online, and providing a wide selection of courses online.
Collins College is an accredited school, with a full range of employment preparation options through hands-on training, marketable educational labs, and business savvy. For more information, fill out the online form and a representative will be in touch with you as soon as possible.