Ah, the casting process. It’s kind of like waiting around in Hell’s foyer for an appointment with either Satan or one of his running mates. It’s warm, not hot, and you wait for longer than you anticipate. You think, well, it’s Satan, at the very least he’ll be punctual.
Not so. Lucifer is neither punctual nor tardy–he’s whatever you least need or like at the time.
But back to Hell’s foyer. It’s interminable waiting for your little actor friends to come to their audition time. Apparently, it’s Los Angeles, which means you show up whenever the hell you want. Granted, we’re not paying anyone, so I suppose it’s their right and privilege.
No hard feelings though. Our first two actresses didn’t show, and I’d had two others cancel on me before we’d even woken up, and with my fantastico scheduling skills, the result was a more than two hour wait before our first actress arrived at noon on the dot.
She rocked.
I was ready to end auditions right then and there, but then I recalled that the script contains two female roles. The search continued. Our next actress showed up fifteen minutes early, which was a nice change, and she performed admirably, enough to keep her in the running for Best Supporting Actress.
I won’t say much about the next actress. Let us leave it at this: I did not ask her about her availability.
Our next actress blew in fifteen minutes late, due to traffic issues, but it was fine for two reasons: I am infinitely patient when it comes to acquiring free work, and the actress really rocked. I mean, rocked the casbaugh, rocked. We’re talking the script suddenly became real, something you always hope for but never quite get when you work with amateurs. It was refreshing to see it happen, with the added bonus of seeing Tim’s reactions to her playing the scene as written. It was like watching a wounded hippo trying to escape an African riverboat’s propeller by doing underwater crunches whilst being mated by an amorous, mechanical shark.
No, that didn’t make sense, don’t try and decode it.
I said DON’T!
One more actress to go. Fresh from a facial, she puts on a good faith effort, but it’s hard to top something as stunning as what I’ve just seen. I’ve made my decision, pending a review of the audition tape.
And it feels like one more step taken care of in the long chain from pre-production to final film. What awaits? Besides twisted, indecipherable metaphors, of course…
Only tomorrow will tell.

Categories: audition, casting, actress, actresses, script, Satan, Hell