So Kerry dissed the troops. What’s that make now, political gaffe #357 for him and the Democrat collective? It’s almost to be expected. Hmmm, there’s an election about to occur. Time to turn a speech about Bush’s inadequacies into an “oopsie-daisy” remark that will turn the sliding electorate into solid Republicans. I have no doubt Kerry absolutely intended to insult Bush with his remark. That it came out like a standard Bushism is happily ironic. Bush’s comeback was pretty snappy by comparison, and the whole schmear comes out looking like kids throwing sand at each other and calling each other “stupidhead.” Takes one to know one. I’m the rubber, you’re the glue, and your mom is too. Congratulations, gentlemen, you’re in the club called Modern American Politics. Get your spatulas.
I meant to write a post yesterday. Wouldacouldashoulda. But unfortunately, didnthavetimeta. So it goes.
Dinner was 86.4% successful. I misunderestimated (thanks to Bush, that will forever remain in my lexicon) the prep time for the entire meal, including the fact that I was making a double batch of sweet potato casserole, which duh, takes double the time to cook, dummy. The yams were unimaginably large, like Fat Albert tumors, and paring them took approximately the same amount of time as NASA takes to prepare a shuttle launch. Then I realized I was missing margerine. The crucial ingredient!
The only crucial ingredient is the one you’re missing. Ever notice that? Everything else is standard stuff, the kind you always count on. But the missing item–disaster! Without this, the recipe will fail dramatically!
Plus, no store in the tri-state region carries apple cider, which is another crucial ingredient. Derek went on a quest to discover a hidden cider mine, and he promised to return forthwith bearing sticks of butter like a Roman praetorian. He eventually did, and my timetable, already behind by about fifteen minutes due to NASA related yam trouble, trebled when I realized I had forgotten to chop apples. Ten minutes on the casserole, and Derek’s feverishly pumping brown sauce into the crock pot, along with sour cream, for the pumpkin soup. Will it heat in time? Will we be shot on sight for serving lukewarm soup? Thank God people only pay a dollar for this thing. There’s no real upfront commitment, so any complaints smack of ungratefulness, rather than genuine cause for bitterness. I decide it’s up to the fates now. I finish cutting up apples just as the casserole finishes cooking. Looks delicious and nutritious. I hope it’s done.
We rush over to the house where Dollar Dinner is served, and after a quick setup, I sit down to relieve the trembling in my heart. This is always a stressful time for me. I doubt I could be a chef. I always forget something. Ding! That’s when I remember that the casserole is a double batch, but it’s only been cooked at single-batch time. Well, better just leave that unspoken. The soup is lukewarm, but the microwave works. It even has a comfortingly analog sounding ding. Microprocessor technology has certainly come a long way. The pumpkin bread is amazing, however, the apples a simple yet stunning contrast to the incredibly rich soup, and the casserole gets raves, and until this blog, no one knew it wasn’t quite as hot as it should have been. None the worse for wear, though.
But I’m glad it’s over. Until next time, when it all starts up again.