Apparently, there’s a war on. And this is a new thing in the sense that different people who have never before been killed…are being killed. This has brought loads of condemnation upon the killers, though I must note, a lot fewer people have been killed in this particular war-in-progress than the last major conflict started by some of the same people who started and fought in it. Anyway, this war is different from the other war currently happening in another location very close to the new war that’s occurring, though it’s a war of different reasons.
See, what happened was, there was an exchange of rocketry and various other projectiles, which are now so passe as to be nearly uneventful, at least as explained by the news media, faithful purveyors of the understated blood red headline (eg. Gaza Rocket Attacks Kill Two, Palestinians Still Not Mollified). Headlines like these are designed to mask both the perpetrators of the rocket attacks and simultaneously to imply that Israel is both to blame and is responsible for making the Palestinians happy (or whoever is at the other end of the Middle East Ire Stick–they all pretty much have it in for the Jews). Sidenotes like that are a bit off-topic, but they do illustrate the nature of war in today’s instant news-on-demand world.
So anyway, after a tiny tiny exchange of rocketry, two Israeli soldiers were kidnapped, a few others were killed, and now Israel is shelling the hell out of Lebanon. Did I mention it’s Israel’s fault for letting their soldiers to be kidnapped? For that matter, it certainly wouldn’t have happened if Israel didn’t have an army in the first place. So clearly we know who’s responsible for this one.
You have the usual tired grumblings from Old Europe, which is so out of touch with anything resembling even an Abstract, Surreal, or even Dadaist, much less a realistic portraiture state of the world, it begins to look and sound like a new and heretofore unseen art movement. You have Jacques Chirac point out what does seem to be the statement to end all statements when he says “One may well ask if there isn’t today a kind of wish to destroy Lebanon — its infrastructure, its roads, its communications, its energy, its airport.” Hmmm, one may well ask if there is such a wish. One may also well ask if France has an answer. Unfortunately, no, but Chirac does wax poetic and sobbingly Lennonesque when he asks “And for what?”
But that’s not the most amusing statement. Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero says of the conflict, “It will only lead to an escalation of the violence.” The violence will only lead to an escalation in the violence. I would like to nominate Zapatero as the person most likely to cease living because of death of some sort at some point in the future. Though at least he’s not living in France, where in October of 2003, lack of air conditioning killed more people than have died in this war so far. In fact, Old Europe’s statistical probability of killing someone just by signing a new constitution is heavier than the number of swing-and-misses experienced by the various Arab hitters who have stepped up to the plate from time to time thinking they had a pair. Not to say Arabs aren’t brave, or testicle-less. A minority of those that do have testicles have proudly ensured that each of their progeny believes Israel’s existence is a blight upon Allah’s wrinkly face, and with a pat on the back, strap that last velcro dynamite holder onto their kid’s chest with the instruction “Aim for the women and children.”
So it’s Hezbollah who kidnapped the soldiers. They’re always doing something crazy–they’re the Evil Knieval’s of the Middle East. Why should Israel bomb innocent non-Hezbollah citizenry in Beirut when they had nothing to do with the policies enacted by the outlaw terrorist organization?
Well, there’s that ugly word policy. And the outlaw terrorist organization? Elected by the free and democratic Lebanese people. Progress is usually defined by forward motion, not two steps forward, three steps back. But hey, blame the Jews. After all, they started it when they began to exist as a people.
Big jerks.