What is more rockin’ than receiving a Christmas package in February?
I’ll tell you: Midgets wearing sombreros. But beyond that, nothing beats tearing into that brown box filled with Christmas cheer. Receiving a late gift is like rewinding back into the previous year for a moment in time, and all the foibles and follies of that hallowed time come rushing back in a blast of merciless disgruntled panache. There is merit in returning to days of yore, if only for mere moments. For one, it helps you to recall just what was so awful about the previous year that made you glad it was all finally over. For another, you can often recall who owes you money.
For what it’s worth, I declare 2005 to be the Year of the Toblerone. Everyone at my apartment received Toblerones for Christmas. I got two huge packs of it. Another of my roommates got five sold in a polygonal form that could easily have been used as a murder weapon in a bizarre Clue-lawn sports hybrid.
PLAYER 1: I deduce the murder was committed by Dr. Chocolate, in the Larder, with the Toblerone bar.
PLAYER 2 (wailing): You sunk my Bocce Ball!
Six more days until my official blog anniversary, and I couldn’t be more excited. As you now may have guessed, it doesn’t take much to get me excited. Just last week, I saw a squirrel doing the Macarena. I was bombastically enthusiastic about that event, even though the Macarena is like, so 1997. Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do to celebrate on the day of. I might rob a convenience mart. Or trash talk Jack Valenti. Haven’t decided yet.
So my good friend and DC resident journalist cum coffee snob Greg Piper is hanging up his blogging spurs. Not for good, just until he decides that the free time he saves by not blogging is being squandered with his investigations into which church girl will be least likely to stick him into the dreaded “Friend Zone”. Come back when you’re ready, Greg…the real world is a cruel and harsh mistress. The blogosphere’s yoke is easy, and the burden of writing is light.
I may throw Greg a party when he returns (in less than a month, is my guess). A gigantic, blogospheric party. Of course, we’ll all do the Macarena. V-logging of the event will be encouraged.