What makes people think they’re being clever and politically savvy if they sport bumper stickers that purport to ask all the relevant questions in single line quips? You would think that people, and I’m not just talking liberals here, but everyone in general who is smart, would see the fallacy of trusting a major portion of their political opinions to be pasted on the back of a dirty automobile. What gives this one-liner political and ideological stance more validity than a redneck sporting a rip-off Calvin pissing on a Ford/Earnhardt/Chevy? I’ve never seen a bumper sticker featuring Calvin pissing on the word “Politics”, but it seems like it would be just as valid as “Impeach Bush” or “My Body, My Choice”.
But clever bumper stickers, even ones I don’t agree with, will always earn my admiration, if not my support. I can respect a clever quip or funny combination of words, especially when aimed at a particular ideology. For instance, I have always liked the bumper sticker that vociferously (and not without a disaffected irony) asks “Who Would Jesus Bomb?” My first thought to that rhetorical non-sequiter is: he could just, like, vapourize whoever he wanted to, he’s Jesus. Chew on that!
I saw one this morning outside my now-favourite DC coffee hangout Murky Coffee that was a simple W circled and crossed through with red. Simple and effective, if not entirely original or imaginative. I think it would be great to have one that bears an unrelated and little-used letter, like Q or K. Seems like that might make people’s heads turn a bit more. You might be able to start an entire phantom anti-Q political wing of MoveOn.org, get letters written to local congresspersons, and stock up on bumper stickers that proclaim “Q Lied, Universes Died”, “QS**t!”, and other witty yet breviloquent sayings opining on the many sins of Q.
George Bush has provided bumper sticker writers some amazing opportunities, but they have, for the most part, been squandered by flat unoriginality and trite jokes and obvious puns. I’ve tried to add some commentary for each. Observe:

	Thankfully, bumper sticker creators have filled that void admirably.
	I suppose it’s more politic than “Kill Bush and bury him on the White House lawn for fertilizer.”
	Just our dignity.
	Neither is 49%. What’s your point?
	And yet punctuation continues to elude even the best of us.
	This kind of roadside education can’t be bought, only given away.
	But you have to admit, it’s pretty catchy.
	I assume we need more trees to make these crappy bumper stickers.
	Yeah, well, whatever your favourite band is…they suck, so there.

And so on. I’ve reached a point where pretty much the only bumper sticker I’m willing to flourish is that of an Irish flag. In fact, that’s exactly what’s on my car right now. It exemplifies the whole point of bumper stickers: a short, sometimes colourful rectangle stuck on the back of your car, upon which is the utter simplification of thought.
Ah, if only life were really that easy.