LebowskiFest 2005 is this weekend in Louisville, KY. It’s a shame I’m too tied up to attend, but I do plan on making next year’s Los Angeles festival.
In honour of and in lieu of attending, below are some inspirational quotes for you to ponder and repeat. Oh, and in case you are unfamiliar with The Big Lebowski, be forewarned, the following contains lots of swears.
The Dude: You thought Bunny’d been kidnapped and you could use it as a pretext to make some money disappear. All you needed was a sap to pin it on…you’d just met me. You thought, hey, here’s a deadbeat, a loser, someone the square community won’t give a shit about.
Lebowski: Well? Aren’t you?
The Dude: Well…yeah.
The Stranger: One a those days, huh. Wal, a wiser fella than m’self once said, sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats you.
The Dude: Uh-huh. That some kind of Eastern thing?
The Stranger: Far from it.
Walter: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter–
Walter: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon–with nail polish.
Maude: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. Bowl, drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don’t need your fuckin’ sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
The Dude: Well, just take ‘t easy, man.
Walter: I’m perfectly calm, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah? Wavin’ a gun around?!
Walter: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Just take it easy, man!
Walter: Calmer than you are.
Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.
Walter: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
The Dude: Fuckin’ Quintana…that creep can roll, man.
Walter: Yeah, but he’s a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter: No, he’s a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What’s a…pederast, Walter?
Walter: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per – look… man, I’ve got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light, and – y’know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, y’know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, y’know, given the nature of all this new shit, y’know, this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it’s not just, it might not be just such a simple… uh, y’know?