We cancelled Christmas, my friends and I
though we all had plenty of dough
We despised all the wrapping and hated the way
people pasted on smiles and hastened to say
“Merry Christmas and have a very nice day!”
when it was nothing but play and show.
In spite of our efforts to recruit our own families
to decline from the month of debauch
We found that the bulk of our mass-produced kin
seemed rather to like mint tonics and gin
and screaming young hellions making Christmas Day din
Of quitting they daren’t stomach the thought.
The rest of the world kept on making merry
as the festival of pain grew near
Instead of dismay and instead of displeasure
at their garrulous purses, the wastes of their leisure
burning their paychecks and spoiling their treasure
They deified the end of the year.
In stores of department, knick-knacks, and toys
the counters were lined with the wrack
of last-minute customers who seemed not to mind
their towering purchases or increasing waistlines
They glanced at their watches, urgency timed
and grumbled if stuck at the back.
As it so happens, as the weeks went along
it grew harder to stay celibate
from the infectious spirit of holiday greed
of selfish desire spawned straight from a tree
each branch stabbing the world’s real needs
What else to do but celebrate?
And so the day came and we woke with a clatter
as downstairs the gifts were denuded.
And all through the day while our relatives smiled
and the children all played with their gifts in a pile
and retailers laughed at the day they defiled
we wondered just what was the matter.