Some parents use hot sauce (WaPo link, reg: example@example.com/example) to discipline their children, but is it healthy or constructive? We go now to our Child Development correspondent Jimmy Bootlicker who has the story.
Jimmy: Thanks Barbara. I’m standing here with mother of three Corine Nospank, who swears by her methods of correction. Corine, exactly how does this method of discipline work?
Corine: It’s pretty simple, really. Whenever any of my kids are being unruly, calling each other names, that sort of thing. I use it when the mouth is the offending party. They need to learn to control what’s coming out of their mouth. If it’s the tongue that gets them in trouble, it’s the tongue that gets punished.
Jimmy: What about the negative effects of using this type of punishment?
Corine: Really, what’s negative? Compared to what I went through when I was a kid, this is nothing. I used to be locked in a basement, chained to a wall, and my father would sic his Doberman on me. That taught me that lying would get me nowhere. Also sneaking out of the house to go to my high school prom.
Jimmy: Corine, that’s, that’s horrible! Didn’t you ever–?
Corine: Believe me, I know what kids these days are like. Abusive, ungrateful, horrible behaviour. This method just ensures they have the hot stuff coming their way if they continue to be little brats. Give’s ‘em a taste of what’ll happen if they continue down that dark path for the rest of their life. Really, Tabasco is hellfire preventative, like a vaccination.
Jimmy: And what do you have to say to psychologists who say this type of discipline is harmful to the child?
Corine: Hey, we should be on the same team here! There’s no, there’s no doubt in my mind that these same psychologists, if they had kids, would be itching to try this out, but they’ve got their reputations tied up in little diplomas they hang in their offices. Of course they’re going to say it’s bad. Their whole industry is designed around calling out imagined problems with people and their interactions with other people. I say “Tabasco”, they hear “Torture.” It’s the same thing with spanking, or putting soap in their mouth. Psychologists have always had it in for parents who have tried and true methods of disciplining their children, because they end up raising people who will grow up and not have the kinds of problems that psychologists specialize in. So of course the psychologists are always advocating the easy way. “Give them lots of hugs!” “A child needs love, not hate!” Please. A child gets enough of that. What they need is hard and fast punishment for naughtiness.
Jimmy: Well, that’s certainly an earful, and I’m sure our viewing audience will have some strong opinions about your ideas. Thank you, Corine.
Corine: Thank you, Jimmy. And remember, Tobasco is also good on tacos! (laughs)
Jimmy: Right. Back to you, Barbara.